|
how was your thanksgiving?
-Mr. E
I don't know how it works where you come from, but turkey is a very personal thing. How would you like it if I asked you "How was your weekend?" I mean, SHEESH! Is nothing sacred? Truth be told, I don't like thanksgiving. You would hate a holiday that suggests passing your family members around a table to be devoured. I hear we're good with cheese sauce.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
Are you my mother?
-Hoback Henderson
I'm a piece of brocolli. Furthermore, I am a male (as far as I can tell) unfortunately for you, it's impossible for me to be your mother. I am, however, your father. I'll take you fishing sometime, ok?
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
If dogs are color blind, then why do apes enjoy violent pineapple fights?
-Briskit bun
Studies show that Apes actually dislike violent pineapple fights. You would too if it took you two hours to tape little boxing gloves onto a pineapple, construct a miniature boxing ring AND little everlast boxing shorts for them to wear, only to have them sit there and not move for all nine rounds.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
Why did the chicken cross the road?
-Poultry man
To get to the other side. (don't worry, i'm disappointed too)
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
If I eat crayons, will I die?
-Chief Petty Penny Pinchers the Third
Yes, but only if you forget to take the wrapping off.
Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
Why am I Mr. Sparkle?
-Hugh Jase
You are mister sparkle because you drank all my cleaning solution. I need that stuff to clean my house. Revenge is not a priority on my list, however, because if you look on the bottle, there's a little scull and crossbones kinda thing on it. That means there's little pirates inside. they will cut up your stomach faster than...something...that cuts up-- a stomach...fast. I know it's difficult to understand, but when you hear "arghh matey!" and a teeny parrot flies out of your nose, it's time to start picking out a casket.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
You are so smart, you have answerd so many challenging questions. You seem to know everything, but do you know who I am, and will you go out with me next weekend?
-Shaniqua
You are shaniqua, queen of the monkeys. you have left whole towns ravaged, covered in death, carnage, and monkey dander. Your reputation is known throughout the land. The mention of your name, or any reference to monkeys strikes fear into the hearts of grown men. yes, I know who you are. monkeys killed my parents. ok, maybe not, but I know who you are. In response to your other question: nope.
-Roodle the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
IF you blow bubbles in rexburg on a cold day, will they freeze mid air?
-Karma
Karma, Rexburg is really cold, the question is not "would they freeze in mid-air" the question is: "After they've frozen, would the children still chase them, pop them, and get painfully thin shards of bubble in their eyes and face." It happened to me when I was a young lad. fourteen stitches.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
Is your favorite flavor clear?
-Dixie
Y'know what, clear really is my favorite flavour. It's nice to be able to walk around, open my mouth, and chomp at the air, thus bombarding my tastebuds with the refreshing flavor of clear. When I go to the ice cream store, I order clear flavor. They give me a cone or bowl, which appears to be empty, but in reality, is filled with the subtle creamy goodness of clear. I've gotten to the point where clear is all I eat! I've discovered that clear is a great dietary suppliment, because i'm skinnier than I've ever been.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
How did the man in the moon get in the moon?
-Kylie
Remember when those dudes in the white outfits landed on the moon in the first place? Well, they collected alot of big rocks to take back to earth. So when they were all done, and they had loaded all the rocks onto the ship, the astronauts realized they didn't have enough room for both of them. The astronauts played rock paper scissors to decide who would get to go back. The rocks won, because the stupid astronaut kept choosing scissors. It's common knowledge that Rock beat scissors, but hey, This guy was an astonaut, not a rocket scientist. After his comrade left him, the astronaut built a small cozy home within the moon's surface. He's still there, living in the moon, eating whatever cheese he can find. So that's how the man in the moon got there. Some say that the man in the moon actually found his way home by riding back to earth on a falling star...But whoever says that is a freakin' liar!
-Roodle the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
Why do they call it canadian bacon? Is it really bacon? Heck, is it really canadian?
-Lola
The biggest difference between normal bacon, and Canadian bacon is that real bacon says "Huh?" and Canadian bacon says "Eh?" Also, Canadian bacon tends to be more civil than it's friend, normal bacon. Furthermore, many people secretly hate real bacon, but are powerless in doing anything to it, due to real bacon's immense military program. Tip: When travelling abroad, sew a piece of Canadian bacon to your backpack, that way everyone you meet will treat you with kindness and respect. Plus, it doubles as a tasty topping on pizza.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
I was wondering if you would like to go out this friday?
-Cauliflower
You sound nice and all, but let's face it. If we went out with eachother, we would fall in love. I'd marry you, and we'd have little brocolliflower children. The reality of it is... I love brocolliflower, and chances are I'd devour the little suckers before we even got home from the hospital. If this disturbs you, our love was never meant to be. If you're OK with the whole "me eating our children" thing, then I'll pick you up Friday at eight?
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
can i have your left leg?
-Ikky Ikky wa wa You can have my leg, but remember, this requires you to lift it. that's risky business, lifting my leg. I've seen dogs lift their legs, with less than desirable results. If that weren't daunting enough, I hear that brocolli pee smells like asparagus. Now i'm not racist, but Shniggle-dee-dee; Asparagus stinks! Are you sure you want something like that on your hands? (No pun intended.) Be aware, lift with care.
-Roodle the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
What's my name again?
-?
Call ME whatever you like, just don't call me late for dinner! HA HA HA ha ha..heh...cough...hrmph! yeah.
So, as I observed the placement of specific words within your question, I was able to feed them into my computer, thus producing the following name: Goiter-neck Fuzznubbin. Wow, that's a flipping wierd name. Your parent's first language wasn't english, was it? This name, however, is one that no man should be ashamed of. Now if you're a woman, I'm sorry... I'm very, very sorry. But hey, look on the bright side! Maybe tomorrow you'll get lucky and have your face run over by a tugboat. (cross your fingers)
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
What's your opinion on the disturbing rise of proto-facist ideals and marxist reactionary political theories in our children's schools?
-Chief Petty Penny Pinchers the Third
Gesundheit!
_Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
How much wood could a woodchuck, chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
-The might nymph
How big is the wood? I can chuck a single piece of wood, with no brakes in between, but then again, i'm not a woodchuck, i'm just a piece of brocolli. A woodchuck has arms, and that gives it an immidiate advantage over myself. I have this friend named Charles, and he can chuck four pieces! He's not a woodchuck, but he is a chuck, none the less. Let's say a woodchuck can chuck twenty seven and a half pieces. Good luck finding a woodchuck, convincing the little bugger to throw wood in the first place, and therefore prove me wrong.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
If the world collapses into a black hole, will I still be able to watch the Simpsons every night?
-OOMPA
The crazy thing about black holes is that they suck everything, even light, into an infinitestimal point, creating thousands of millions of pounds of pressure, killing anything and everything. I would go out on a limb and say yes. The only thing though, is finding an outlet.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
WHY DOES THE MOON SOMETIMES HAVE AN ORANGISH COLOR TO IT?
-SPHINC
You'd be suprised. Next time the moon is orange, reach up and feel your face. Grandma put those awesome orange safety glasses on you again, didn't she. Besides, didn't anybody ever tell you not to look directly into the moon?
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
Why is a cow?
-Batman
Don't ask me, you live with her!
P.S.
Aw, C'mon Batman! If he was so sensitive about the whole thing, you're sidekick wouldn't have chosen such a sissy name for himself. Who can be intimidated by a guy named "Robin" anyway?
-Roodle the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
Mr.Brocolli, can i eat your family?
-Hungy man
Sure, if I can eat yours.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
If a toothpick and a bathroom tile got in a fight who would win?
-Waffle man
Let's look at the stats, shall we? A toothpick has two pointy...uh...points, and if you rub him across something really fast, he could give you slivers. Now the bathroom tile, he's got four pointy corners, a glossy enamel finish, and some mean caulking. And then we remember that toothpicks and bathroom tiles are inanimate objects, which makes them unable to fight in the first place. Reality can be your friend if you let it. (the toothpick doesn't stand a chance! i'd definately put my money on the bathroom tile, I hear he can take on a whole box of cocktail forks, and not even break a sweat!)
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
Dear Abby, my daughter is engaged to a fellow I simply cannot abide. He's rude, he leaves muddy prints on my floor when he comes to visit, and he has an objectional habit of leaving venomous serpents in my silverware drawer. How can I warn my daughter not to marry him without hurting her?
-Concerned mother
First of all, I'm Roodle, the brocolli, but I can pretend to be this "Abby" if that floats your boat. How do you help your daughter without hurting her? Refer to the answer given in the question below. I think you'd be suprised how useful Ether really is.
-Roodle, the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
I haven't gotten a good night's rest in years. I'm so tired. What can I do?
-Sleepless in Seattle
I know exactly how you feel, sleepless. I have the answer to your problem. Y'ever here about this stuff called Ether? It's great! Just put some on a rag, and put it over someone's face. It'll knock a guy right out. Now what you do, is get some of this stuff, sneak up to a fair sized, mean lookin' dude, and put that over his face. When he passes out, drag him into your house, where your room is, and wait for him to wake up. He's gonna want to know where he is, and what happened to him. Tell him what you did, and he'll wanna beat the crap out of you. Sure, when you wake up, you'll be all sore and bloody, but it's a small price to pay for a good nights sleep.
-Roodle the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
Roodle, what are your views on the sorry state of vegetable rights, in this nation where a piece of brocolli such as your self has no legal rights, no vote, and is more likely to end up in a casserole to be eaten by cruel slave masters?
-Vegetable rights activist
My opinion? EAT ME! The great thing is, I can say that, and you can legally follow through.
-Roodle the brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
I am a lonley male, how can I get more ladies?
-retired in rexburg Dear retar...Retired, I know how you feel, I have been through that before. Let me give you some advice: don't kick 'er. Also, tell her that you're actually Micheal Keaton. She will recognize the name as a famous one, but will have little chance at remembering if he looked like you or not. Also, shove hay into your shirt so it's hanging out of your collar and sleeves; It scares the crows away. Sure, it's not very nice, but crows can really cramp yer' style!
-Roodle, the Brocolli
___________________________________________________________________________
I have a zit inbetween the runway and the tarmack...do you have any ideas of how to pop it...it hurts like somethin'!
Thanks,
the sensi thingie bandit
A wise man once said "Don't ever be afraid to say 'I don't know" in response to that profound statement, I offer: "Your not the boss of me!" My advice to you, sensi, would be to just step on the zit, or pay someone to step on it for you. It may not pop, but boy, a better thought will come to your mind soon after. One that has to do with giving me money, or cheese. Yeah.... cheese.
___________________________________________________________________________
Did you know that I can fit an entire Q-tip up my nostril?
-Guido
So that's where my q-tip went! Guido, that is remarkable, but did YOU know that I can fit an entire kitten in my mouth? I discovered this talent almost accidentally when I ate that mouse, and forgot to brush my teeth. People are always telling me "that's what you get for dipping yourself in honey, rolling in Meowmix, and falling asleep in the barn" The things people tell you after the fact. Anyway, to prevent this from happening again, I drink a glass of water everyday, 'cause hey, cats HATE water.
___________________________________________________________________________
Why does the bathroom smell so bad?
-Minoz Hertz I can't help it! It's those danged Jr. Bacon cheese burgers from "Wendys" They're so succulant, so juicy, so...so bacon-y! You try digesting nearly two pounds of hamburger and processed cheese, and see how rosey you smell after it's made its "lap around the track"
___________________________________________________________________________
So this j-walking rule is dumb. Do you think if i did the seawalk while i crossed the road it would make it okay?
-beekman
You can't just rise up againsed the man all at once. You have to ease yourself into it. Start off with the "crabwalk". The "moonwalk" would be the next logical choice. Also, try wearing those little bands on your wrists when you eventually do the "seawalk", thereby preventing "seawalk sickness"
___________________________________________________________________________
Hey, you don't even know what I look like, so back down buddy.
-Jeff's friend
Sure I know what you look like! I got yer picture right here!
|
| A sailor always has to deal with "pirates" |
___________________________________________________________________________
Ok, now that I read more of your website... you are a loser who has nothing better to do than to write about disgusting and inappropriate topics. Don't be a loser, help tip... change your website.
-Jeff's friend
Jeff is a great guy, which makes me wonder how a person with such a negative attitude could be friends with him. Tell ya what, leave the judging to God, and try to develop a sense of humor. I also encourage you to start a hobby, instead of persecuting others for the things they do for fun.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
This isn't a question, but I think this website of yours is on the border of being inappropriate.
-One of Jeff's friends
One of Jeff's friends, it's plain to see that your not a Total idiot. I mean, your absolutely right: The comment above is definately not a question.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Who is your daddy and what does he do?
-Arnold
My dad is a well known drywall contractor, and he tells me I need to get a job. He thinks I have too much time on my hands. Boy, is he wrong!
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
what exactly is a Watermelon?
-Mr. ned
They're kinda Greenish and hard on the outside, and when you crack'em open, they have tender red fruit. I've had them, and they're rather nice; hard to find, though.
|
| this, my friend, is a watermelon. |
___________________________________________________________________________
If computers had legs and could walk around how long of an extension cord would they need?
-Nerd
If your computer is going to walk ten feet, get a ten foot extension cord. If your computer is walking fifty feet, get a fifty foot extension cord. If your computer is walking one hundred feet, get a one hundred foot long extension cord. Wait a sec, your computer is walking around. I smell demons. Rub garlic on it, and then rub garlic on your own face and body. I know, garlic is for vampires, but who wants to be attacked by a vampire when your already following your posessed computer around? Better safe than sorry.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Why are there so many of me?
-I am Spartacus
It may just be that your walkin' around with your eyes crossed. Dangit, why won'cha just gimme some chips!
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
have you ever beaten anybody up? Also can you box?
-Kim Wilcox
Your answers, in no specific order: no, yes, and yes.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Would you please help me? I have half a dozen starved, crazy weasels on my face. How can I get rid of them?
-Odd Albert Try a shotgun. Sure, you may blow your face off and die, but it's a small price to pay for a weasil-free complection.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Why do people waste time asking you questions? I'd like to know because I'm wondering if it can be addicting?
-Stumped! I think it's my girlish figure. But then again, it could be the fact that whenever people ask me questions, I get scurvey, and we all know there's nothing funnier than a Canadian with scurvey!
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
What would happen if one was born with only one half of the right pectoral?
-Muscular Decomposer (Dr.)
Two words for ya, Prettygirl Magnet. Some would say that "Prettygirl" is two words, but "magnet" certainly isn't.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
What IS a diorama?
-3-D MAN!!!
It's like a broom, only cuter.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
What does it sound like if you say "Goat Boxing Illustrated," backwards?
-The English Pneumonicist
This is what it sounds like:
___________________________________________________________________________
Why was six afraid of seven?
-Mathematic Grand Master
Your mocking me, aren't you. Six is afraid of seven, because he's bigger, and he has more angular, sharp edges than the rounder, sleeker six. I cut myself on a seven once, terrible thing it was. Sure, the nurse said it was a "paper" cut, but I know it was that dang nabb'd Seven!!! I'm still biased againsed that blasted number. I refuse to say it's cursed name when I count, making my journey from 1 to 10 in only nine steps. Boy, I need some chips.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
I was just wondering why girls can wear pants, but guys can't wear dresses (normally). What sort of double standard is this? Next thing you know they'll be letting those new-foungled women vote! (Can you imagine how corrupt the government would become?)
-The Bent Wookie
The answer to your question: Yes, I can imagine how corrupt the government could become. Then we'd all have to wear dresses. But, then again, I suppose we'll never get that lucky (sigh)
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
How do scientists know how much mass is in the universe?
-Pondering Astrophysicists Some would say that they use a great big scale, but the truth is they take a dirty old rag and soak it with stomach bile. They suck the bile out of the rag. They record the time in seconds it takes until they get violently sick, Times that by a million, and minus -12. The answer they get isn't even close to how much the universe really weighs, but it sure makes you apreciate the grandeur of the universe. Or it makes you sick.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
so I have two questions. One, why are canadians sooooo goofy and just plain good looking. And two, when will we see new comics?
-the burning desire to wet my pants Well, Canadians are so handsom because they're constantly in the presence of trees, and Moose, and beavers, and sloths, and squirrels. Oh, and we kill any ugly babies that are introduced into our culture, thus ensuring beauty.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Did you like the part in conference where that one guy said it doesn't matter how many kills you can get in one minute in a computor game to prepare for your mission?
-Braeden When I heard that, I said to myself "this sounds like a guy who has never played a first person shooter". Now I don't know what a guy needs to do to organize a Halo tournament with a general authority, but let it be known I will use everything in my power to make it happen. The thing about that is, I have only one thing in my power at this time; a glazed donut named Fliff. I assumed power over him early this morning, and he has done little to fight against it, even after repeated bitings upon his person. Anyway, I'll get back to you on the tournie, and when it will commence.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
IF YOU ERASE A WORD WITH AN ERASER, WHERE DOES IT GO?
-BACON
Aw, don't act all innocent, bacon! You and I both know YOU got'm! By the way, I want that sentence I wrote back in 88' about that thing. Y'know, the thing with the hooks...and fur.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Is the lottery a tax on people who are bad at math?
-Guido
The lottery is a way to weed out the sickly and weak, and eat them.
|
| This IS a lottery, right? |
___________________________________________________________________________
Why is the moon white?
-Bored in Biddulph
I have a better question, "why is your first name "bored" I don't mean to be rude, but do your parents hate you or something? Anyway, the moon is white, because it brushes regularly.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
If a llama were in mexico would they be called a yama?
-Llama face
yep, I've heard it with my own ears. We always think llamas can't talk, but when they see Mexicans, they can't help but yell out "yama"
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
do you remember that one time when the thing happened all the way over in you know where?It was next to the kitchen sink i think.
-The French Penguine
What in crap's name are you talking about?
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?
-Harry Carey
Harry, as I told you before, if I were a hotdog, and I could eat myself, I would have a mouth full of teeth. Call me crazy, and many people have, but I'm not too hot with the whole "eating a hotdog that has a pair of teeth" thing.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
comment: I have heard of this crime fighting tumor that also has gotten in an accident with a tablespoon so he has bionic legs. I think this is just a myth..... What is your opinion?
-a disgruntled bus driver
Busdriver, you talk of this "crime fighting" tumor. Now, this tumor has bionic legs after fighting with a tablespoon? Let me get this straight: This "crime fighter" lost his legs to an inanimate object. What's more, it had smooth rounded curves, and was probably made of plastic. My opinion? If this guy gets into a fight with something living, don't put your money on him.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
What is the sum of the universe?
-Chimpanzee
Wow, what a deep question, very vast and profound... The answer is twelve.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Sometimes I think that it might be possible for me to breathe under
water, just a tiny bit. Do you think that it can be done? -Beekman
Breathing water is possible, but only if you can pass this test:
1) When you look down at your belly, do you see:
a)arms
b)yee haw! that thar's a belly button!
c)fins
d) I can't, fish don't bend that way.
If you answered C or D, congrats, you are awarded 12 points, and you can breath water. if you answered B, you get five points, but you better hurry up, cause i think 'rasslings' on! if you answered A, you are a disgusting freak with arms growing out of your stomach. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Oh wise oracle of uselessness knowledge, who puts the black in blackness is it shaft or coolio, I'm just so confussed please let me know?
-little wigger
Wigger, I too am Confussed; whatever the crap that means. For the record, the famous rapper "Shaftio" put the black in blackness, and I helped! hope that sheds some light on the subject.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Sometimes I like to smell my own farts. Is something wrong with me or am I normal?
-Big Papa
Brisket, I live on the same floor as you. I have smelled your farts. Trust me, it is NOT normal to enjoy something that smells like that.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
why does your mom keep calling?
-Braeden
It's simple really. Your phone gives off harmful radiation that poisons your bloodstream, slowly killing you.
She calls so much because she wants you to die.
Ok, that's not true, she doesn't want you to die. She calls you so much because she loves you more than she loves me. I'm not joking about the whole "Phone killing you" thing though. Maybe i'll give you a call and tell you more about it.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Do Whales have dorsel fins?
-Tyler
Nope, not that I know of.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Why are you obsessed with goat punishment?
-Barry Manillo
Barry, I think you and I both know why I am Obsessed with goat punishment. Those goats need to be taught that they can't get away with this sort of thing. My dad beat me on a regular basis, and it made me an upstanding member of society. It's all about discipline, barry, and the sooner the goats learn that, the better. Ok, fine, my dad didn't beat me, but then again, i wasn't a goat. And hey, look on the bright side, at least i'm not killing them, right?
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
is it a problem if you enjoy animals being blown up. Im not sick i dont
blow them up.... I just like to watch.
-explosive personality
You know what Explosive, your not alone. There are many others like you, who enjoy watching animals get blown up, but hate to do it themselves. Can we blame you? Let's take a gopher for example: wrapping your lips around his mouth is difficult enough, but the blowing up process is slightly more difficult. What if you let go by accident? The gopher starts flying around the room, making that rediculous raspberry noise. Plus, tying the mouth off when you've finished a successful inflation is just as daunting. If and when you are successful, try rubbing the animal on your head, and stick him to a wall or something.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
who shot who with the what now?
-Hi
It was me, in the varanda, with the wrench, where I was loosening the gas pipe.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
comment: AAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!! GET THIS RABID SQUIRREL OFF MY FACE!!!
-Guido
That's fine and all, but you must understand, this is a "questions" page. If you truly desire a response, rephrase the statement above: "WILL YOU get this rapid squirrel off my face?" That would be a question! See, now we're making valuable progress!!! And no, I won't get it off.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
When in the course of human events it becomes neccesary for a people to
break away from their roots and set free the willys of freedom. I have been
playing Magic for years and have found a new pride in Starwas Customizable Card
Game. My friends back at the Lair (thats what we call the place where we play
our games) think Iv'e abandoned them. Prithy what should I do?
-Blackdorth The Dragon Master
You seem to be in a tough moral battle here. I would release a cave troll and tap him, then command him to devour your friends. Take their cards, sell'm to some fat guy with long, greasy hair and glasses, and then use your troll to kill him. Take his cards, sell those, and give the spoils of your labors to grandma... Or tell them the truth. yep, you should definately do one of those two things. but make sure that whatever you do, never use the phrase "...set free the willys of freedom" ever, Ever again.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Extreme force or violent brutality?
-Guido
Hmmmmm. Force...reminds me of..."the force"...Starwars! Starwars reminds me of...wookies. They are brown with silver strappy things...my dad's hiking boots are brown with silver strappy things. Boots taste like feet, and skin. Not very tastey.
Yep, definately violent brutality.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
--Your grandma
Well, Grandma, seeming how last time I checked, you had passed away twelve years ago, this whole cheese thing should be the last of your worries. If you must know, a cheese would say "meow" if it got it's picture taken. Really, really quite like.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Would it be rude to ask a homeless person for home-decorating tips?
-Guido
No, but only under two conditions. 1. If you live in a box. B. The homeless person has a degree in "interior design" stuck to the side of their box.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Why does your friend that inspired you to make this page have a web page full of pictures of homosexuals?
--Un Bato Loco
What are you talking about? There's only pictures of Jeff on there. Well, whatever.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Why do hot dog buns come in packages of 8 and the weiners in packages of 10?
--You-nanni-mouse
well, you-nanni-mouse, it's simple really. back in the old days, when the standard for the hotdog-to-bun ratio was being discussed, they did things a little differently. It was customary of the person who purchased the wieners to put the first two in his ears, thus labeling him as the one who provided the snacks. That way, anyone who enjoyed the delicious greasy goodness of hotdogs on a bun would know who to thank. This practice has been outlawed since due to damages caused when a host had get-togethers of more than eight people, thus tearing the "earholes" hope that helps you out mouse.
-DJ Seidel
___________________________________________________________________________
I have a gay roommate. I think he stares at me at night. It's very offputting. I kinda want to kill him but i kinda don't. Although i want to kill him more than i don't. So should i kill him?
You see, being gay is one thing, but does he admit it? what is "offputting " anyway. what, are you making up your own words or something? Anyway, here's what you do. Get a custom pajama top that says "hey! Homosexual guy, stop staring at me while I sleep" If this doesn't work, leave some rat poison around the apartment, that should do it.
-DJ Seidel
___________________________________________________________________________
WHy do they have brail on drive through tellers?
-Phillip
The brail in drivethrough teller thingies are for the blind people who drive. (gee, I always figured that was pretty obvious?) oh, and I tell ya, when yer' driving around with a glazed ham taped over your eyes, it REALLY comes in handy.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
i was just wondering, what's a knockorcall?
-anonymous
I dunno, what's a knockorcall with you? HA HA HA HA HE HE heh heh...heh...*cough*...hee hee...hrrmmph!!..hum...yeah.
Well, in order to understand what a knockorcall is, we have to break down the root words "knoc" and "corcall" as soon as we can define what these are, it will help us to come to a definate idea as to the meaning of this word.
It also means "fish"
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
who do animals say the words that they do? Why dont cats say LLAMMA or armidillios say BAHHH?
-Steve-meowmix
I knew a dog that could say "mama" Well, I SAW a dog that could...ok, I never saw a dog do that, but you could imagine how cool that would be, right?
so, if cats said llamma, people would be like "WHERE?!! WHERE'S THE FREAKIN' LAMMA?!!" God can't have that.
-DJ
___________________________________________________________________________
Why do guys have nipples?
-anonymus
well, it's simple really, it's so that you know which way he's facing. Some would argue that there are other anatomical attributes that take care of that. However, you need to look at nipples as a redundant countermeasure, just in case something were to "Happen" to the other one.
-DJ
|
